My Anything Story
I think my
Anything story started when I read the book Seven by Jen Hatmaker. I had been wanting to read it since my
husband read it, but I also was nervous to read it because I saw what changed
in him because of it. After reading that
book I now asked God what he wanted for my life not just in general but with
every day decisions down to the smallest things like food I ate and things I
bought and what I threw away. I tell
this story a lot to give an example of how much this change infiltrated my
life…
My family was
moving from one house to another that was just a couple streets away. Our hall bath now had a creamy tan color of
tile rather than stark white. I really
wanted to buy a new shower curtain, but I lost my mind a little thinking about
how I didn’t really “need” a new shower curtain. The one I had was in good shape and wasn’t
terribly dated, it just didn’t go with the room anymore. I fretted with this for a couple of weeks… I
ended up buying the new curtain. ;) I
don’t know if God was pleased with my new purchase or not, but I do know he was
pleased that I didn’t take the old one for granted and that I considered how
much I’ve been given by his grace. You
know, we had a lot of people come through the new house those first couple of
weeks and I had so many positive comments about my new shower curtain. It was by far the most talked about thing in
the house (My things are functional but not impressive, obviously, if a shower
curtain is the topic of conversation.) I got to tell that story of how I
fretted over the decision because I had been coming face to face with excess
around me. I don’t know if God used that conversation to get others thinking
about it as well, but I think maybe he did.
…Anyway, that’s where my “Anything” started. God I’ll do anything even deny myself a new
shower curtain if that’s what you want.
LOL! Fast forward about 2 years and God was making my “Anything” more
costly than a shower curtain.
My husband who
had been in youth ministry for about 15 years was now changing into a
teaching/coaching career. We were
leaving a place that we’d lived in for over 7 years. My girls were leaving everything they’d ever
known. I was devastated. I desperately wanted to stay, but I knew I
had said “anything” God. So I went
quietly.
The quietly only
lasted until we entered the new town we had been called to live. I was angry, sad, and bitter. Why would God do this? Why would God take me from a place where we
were established, comfortable, and life and marriage were easy to a place where
life was much more difficult financially, relationally, and spiritually. For a short time I was so prideful that I
said, “If this is what you do to people who have served you faithfully for
years then I want NO part of it. I tried
to turn it off. Everything I’d learned
about God, everything I’d taught about God, everything I’d sung about God, I
wanted it to leave me alone. It
wouldn’t. I’ve walked with God for about
25 years and even under all my anger and pride, God was there and I knew he was
in control (whether I wanted him to be or not).
He would send me encouragement from friends at just the right time, or
give me a word from scripture that spoke gently to my heart. Yes, I had tried to turn off my walk with
God, but I still read scripture each morning.
I could turn off my Christian radio when I didn’t want to hear what they
were singing, but I couldn’t NOT read my IF:Equip for the day. I was young when I gave my life to Christ,
and honestly I don’t know how to walk through life without him completely. Even in my ugly rebellious heart, there were
disciplines of life with Christ that I couldn’t shut down.
I kept serving
him because that’s who I am. You know
the word says you are not your own, you’ve been bought with a price. I wanted to walk away because I was mad at
where God had taken me, but I couldn’t walk away because I am his. He’s been slowly healing my heart, and
opening my eyes as I repent of my pride and selfishness. Everyday I struggle to say I really do mean
it, “anything”. He’s making me live the
words that I have said to so many that he is better than my comfort, my easy
life. He is better than friends or a
ministry. He is worth it even when life
is hard.
Tonight I get to
be a part of leading women through the “Anything” study. I am so excited to see what God is going to
do through the women that surrender everything to him. I have only read the first three chapters,
but I know these women and many in this town know that ache for more. I pray that women find it in telling God they’ll
do anything, and that those around them will see that our God is great and
worth following.
