"I Swear"

   
     Last weekend I went to my friends baby shower.  She lives a little over 2 hours from me, but I was so excited to make this trip to see one of my best and oldest friends to celebrate a family of three soon to be family of 4.  Another of my dear friends was there too, and was also pregnant with her 2nd baby.  We all went to high school together and these girls have been so precious to me no matter where we are or what we've been doing with our life.
     I mentioned that trip was 2 hours because that means lots of radio time.  This is notable because I could listen to whatever I wanted without interrupting anyone else's plans (ahem... a certain 6 year old comes to mind).  On the way back after having a great visit with my friends, I was flipping through radio stations and came across a country station playing something I thought was worth stopping the channel surfing for. (even though now I don't remember what was playing)  What I do remember is the next song that came on was John Michael Montgomery's song, "I Swear".
     As soon as the song started even before any words were sung I was instantly thrown back to junior high or  high school dances.  I was the nervous girl fidgeting, wondering if anyone was going to ask me to dance because when I was that age everyone danced to the slow songs and the up tempo stuff you were free to do whatever you liked.  Is anyone going there with me?  I don't know if it happened because I had been with my old friends all day or what, but it was awkward to the point my stomach was even feeling unsettled for a second.
     I sat there and remembered all my friends and was thankful for all the ways God has worked in my life since those days.  After a few minutes the whole thing just made me smile really big and love the life God has given me.  I now have a forever dance partner, who I will always think is the best looking man in the room!  ( :  I have two darling girls who love to dance and play with their mom (for now).  Lastly, maybe most importantly, I am satisfied with who the Lord has made me.  Don't get me wrong there are days when I think,"I guess these love handles are just always going to be a reminder of the blessing of being able to bear my own children.", or think "I'm almost thirty, shouldn't I have grown out of pimples already?".  But in general I am thankful to be who God made me and I am comfortable with my lot in life.
     I can recall several times I've told those younger than me that adulthood is overrated, but I have been truly blessed beyond measure.  Maybe glimpses into the past, like I experienced, are meant to show us how far we've come and to praise the Lord with increasing confidence that "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:6).

Each Chapter

"As we surrender to divine interventions (or not) each chapter of our lives puts God on display."
Priscilla Shirer in
Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted


     The idea of chapters in life has been one that has intrigued me for several years.  It was even the theme of our D-Now 3 or 4 years ago.  I know I am part of the big story God is writing throughout history, but my life also is a story and each chapter is necessary and different.  Switching chapters is always a struggle in my mind, but so is remaining in a chapter when I feel a new one should start.
     While I was getting my haircut last week this came up again.  Ashley (who cuts my hair) was asking me about life, as all good stylists do. :)  Jay had just gotten back from Haiti so I was telling her about that when she asked me if I would have liked to go with them.  I said yes, but it's not my season for that.  She agreed and identified with that.  She completely understood and felt the same way.  She loves the Lord and lives to serve him too.
     The season I'm in is focused on doing ministry with our girls and being "busy at home" (Titus 2:5)  I'm learning to appreciate this a little more each day.  If there is any chapter of life I feel completely unqualified for, it's this one.  I do not like to cook, bake, sew, clean or anything else you typically associate with "traditional" female roles.  I can see you rolling your eyes now because you're thinking, "Jamie, it's 2012. Isn't that why feminism came along. Traditional roles don't matter."  You're right.  I appreciate that girls and boys alike have the same opportunity to be who they want to be.  I come from a family where Mom always worked.  My husband's Mom also always worked.  Let me just say it was completely my idea to stay at home when I had kids.  Please don't feel like I'm oppressed by this societies gender issues blah blah blah...  I say that because throughout my education, specifically my undergrad history classes and my graduate communication classes, people often wanted me to assume that to be a liberated woman relevant in the 21st century I had to be independently successful as measured by financial standards.  I feel a little like Julia Stiles in the movie Mona Lisa Smile.  Okay, enough on that, that is for another post maybe.
     The point I started to make is that I chose this life that I feel unqualified for, but a life that I appreciate a little more every day.  I look at the examples the world offers my girls, and frankly it makes my stomach hurt.  I want to train my girls to be women who love graciously, are wise and pure, work hard, and live appreciative of their God given purpose in life.  I wrestled the Lord over my station in life.  I refused to move until I heard from him about it one night.  You know what happened, he answered so clearly and honestly so contrary to what I wanted.  What I want is a full time job.  I wanted to hear that my time as SAHM was coming to a close.  We've become accustomed to living off one salary so mine would allow us to save for the girls and retirement, go on cool vacations, get Jay a new car, etc.  But what he said to me was that my girls souls are more important than any of that.  No one is better suited to train my girls in the way they should go than me.  He orchestrated my life in such a way that I could stay home and spend my time with my girls, and I should thank him rather than rebel and insist on my desires and comforts.
     I know God has different plans for each of us, so please, don't for a second feel any condemnation over living your life different from mine.  All I would say is that if you haven't "wrestled" with him over it that you should.  If you have given your life to Christ, ask him what he wants you to do with it (your life).  I'm pretty sure he'd love it.
     So our summer Bible study is the book of Jonah and I felt inspired to share my latest "divine intervention" as Priscilla Shirer puts it.  The quote at the top was great because more than anything else I want to put God on display.  For now I'll aim to display him in our home and to my little sweets!

My girls love summer!

Inconvenience: The Price of Good Parenting

I subscribe to get emails from iMOM and this was from yesterdays.   SO good and so true.  Just wanted to share. April 16, 2012
Inconvenience: The Price of Good Parenting
My father, now a grandfather to seven, was reflecting recently on his own journey as a parent. He said, “By far, the hardest part of parenting for me was consistency. If it’s wrong today, it’s still wrong tomorrow, even if following through with the consequences for my child does not fit the schedule.” And it’s true—the bedrock of good parenting is consistency, and consistency is often ridiculously inconvenient—to the parent! Good parenting is work, and doesn’t go away when we’re tired or over-scheduled. So when you’re at a parenting crossroads, you may be asking, “Is it really worth the inconvenience to me to: take away his cell phone, ban her from the computer, or keep her home from the sleepover?  Most of the time, the answer is yes. So stick with your parenting plan, even if it means you’re the one who’s inconvenienced.

Good find

Starting junior high also meant starting youth group.  My brother told me something then that I have found to be beneficial.  Our youth pastor always had hand outs with fill in the blanks for us when he was giving a message.  My brother told me to keep these because they would be good to look back at someday.  Well, I did keep them, a LOT of them.  I have since weeded out many things but I still do have several pages that I received as a student in the youth group.  This past week I found something from a bible study I went to with my youth minister's wife.  It's amazing how it can speak to me now as much as I'm assuming that it did then.  When my brother gave me that advice to keep my stuff from youth group, neither of us had any idea that I would one day be a youth minister's wife.  I have used those handouts to create my own studies and lessons for the girls in our ministry.  They truly are a priceless resource from people I trust and have seen walk life with Christ for many years even after I graduated.  I thought I would share in case someone else needed to hear these words too.

In the series of statements the first one describes a "natural inclination that leads to lack of purpose".  The second describes "principles of wisdom that lead to fulfilling achievement".

1. Making a distinction between full-time Christian work and secular vocations.
2. Wisdom is recognizing that, whatever my job is, I am to work as though God were my employer and expect that my real reward for labor will come from Him.

1. Considering the learning of practical skills in a variety of areas to be unnecessary.
2. Wisdom is remembering that God will use whatever natural skills I develop in the ministry to which He calls me and that often they will be the very means of directing me in service for Him.

1. Believing that since I do not have too many talents or special abilities I cannot expect to do any significant work for God.
2. Wisdom is realizing that God uses the weak things of the world to confound the mighty and the foolish to confound the wise, because His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

1. Assuming that the will of God for my life involves finding a particular job or having a particular title.
2. Wisdom is discerning that the will of God involves both the forming of Christ's character within me and the resulting message which I can share with others.

1. Neglecting unwanted family responsibilities to have more time for other things, like serving the Lord.
2. Wisdom is understanding that difficult family responsibilities are actually God's way of building essential character in me and that a far bigger ministry can result through the lives of those for whom I am responsible.

1. Expecting that  God will bless my efforts in Christian work with acceptance and appreciation from those whom I serve.
2. Wisdom is preparing for unexpected misunderstandings and rejection from those I try to help so that I can identify with new sections of scripture and experience a more effective ministry with others.

1. Plodding ahead in order to fulfill a vision that I know God has given me to accomplish.
2. Wisdom is planning for the death of my vision during which time I will be forced to learn the character of Christ and wait for his timing in the fulfillment of the vision.

1. Looking for the opportunities of leadership in Christian service.
2. Wisdom is seeking to serve Christian leaders because of the awesome responsibility which they have and higher standards by which they will be judged.

So, there ya go.  I thought it was just a great reminder to keep my perspective through a Christ focused lens.  No matter what we are doing, we do it for the Lord and he uses every situation in life to develop us into the person he created us to be.  Nothing is wasted or pointless when we live life with Christ.

The Christmas Post

   
     So I wrote a blog at the beginning of the Christmas season and I was so excited for this year's holiday season.  I really did have a great time with my family but I will say it was extremely busy and this laid back girl who leans toward introversion was exhausted from all the events!  I will say the advent Christmas countdown we did was a BIG hit.  Ansley loved all of it.  Also giving the girls there gifts was a lot of fun.  I'm glad I waited until Christmas. ;)
     The holiday travel started when Ansley got out of school at noon that Friday.  We left almost immediately after that and drove to my brother's house to get his dog to take with us to my parents house while they were in Alabama.  We got to my parent's that Friday evening.  It was an ok trip but they seriously  have got to do something on I 35W between the North exits 52 to 60.  My exit is 60 and those last 8 miles take FOREVER!!  During my traffic wait my friend Kathleen called and asked me to sing with her during the Christmas Eve service.  The song she had chosen was Barlow Girl's Hallelujah Light Has Come and it is such a beautiful song.  I was so honored to join her.
     The main reason me and my girls went to my parents that weekend was to go to my cousin Aaron's wedding that Saturday.  WELL you know things don't always go as planned...  We were on our way to the wedding Saturday night all of us dressed up and looking fancy when about 20 minutes into our 1 hour drive we get a phone call from my aunt saying, "Where are yall".  So the wedding we thought was at 6pm was at 3pm.  Total bummer, but we did go ahead and go see the clean up crew.  Everything seemed like it was an awesome wedding and we did get to see the Bride and Groom on their way out so I guess that's something. 
     Flexibility I guess is one worthwhile trait I possess.  We had planned to be home early on Tuesday because Jay was gonna be gone MONDAY with the youth kids at six flags.  Turns out because of weather they went on TUESDAY.  So me and the girls stayed at my parents a little longer and left after lunch Tuesday and then stopped to visit my friend Christin in Fort Worth.  It was fun to see her and her little girl, Lauren.  I was blown away how grown up Lauren had gotten.  Man, kids... they learn and grow up so fast.  After we left there we drove a little further and stopped for dinner in Waco and finally got home around 7:30 or 8 Tuesday night.

     Friday we got back in the car and drove to Burlison to my brother's house for our family Christmas.  The video above is of Ansley and Ridgely telling the Christmas story.  It was going well and we were all having a great time.  THEN, Ansley brought a marker (that was supposed to stay upstairs) down to the kitchen and while she was slinging it around it leaked all over Rusty and Lesley's wall.  Of course it was the red marker and so after a not so successful attempt to clean it off the wall they are gonna just have to paint over it if they haven't already.  SORRY about that again.  That is one of those things that only happen to kids at someone else's house.  HA!
     Saturday, my parents after spending the night at my brother's came down to our house and it turned out to be a life saver that they were there to help us that night.  Since I had agreed to sing with Kathleen I had to be there early for sound check and what not.  Jay had to do the power point and being on staff at the church has to show up early for everything.  So I left after eating a quick dinner leaving everyone else at the table.  Then while Jay got ready for the service my parents got themselves and both the girls ready.  YAY for the grandparents!!!  It was a great service though.  My first ever Christmas Eve service to attend because we have always been at my Nanny's until this year on Christmas Eve.  We had prepped Ansley for the Lord supper part and had the discussion about what it means and why we do it and that she wouldn't be participating yet but that hopefully one day she would.  LOL It was so funny watching her from the stage.  She kept looking at me like MOM, see ALL the other kids are doing it why can't I.  HA I was trying to keep my composure watching her but she did good and I was very proud.  Of course as soon as it was over she said, "Mom, I just wanted to take something.  Everyone else took something!"  Aww poor thing... she is so mistreated ;)

     Christmas morning went pretty good.  I was shocked that Ansley slept until like 8:30.  I totally expected her to be up early because she's known to get up around 6:30 for no reason so with it being Christmas I thought she would be an early riser for sure.  Don't get me wrong I completely appreciated the sleeping in.  We had our Santa part of Christmas and cinnamon rolls and got ready for church again.  Jay preached the Christmas morning service and I was so proud of him.  He has grown so much in the public speaking area and although I wouldn't characterize it as a typical Christmas message it was one that needed to be shared.  I thought it was a good morning.  My parents left after lunch that day and we tried to start getting ready for our next phase of Christmas break.
     On Tuesday we left after we got up to drive to Clovis.  That drive is no fun, especially the last hour or so.  The girls did ok, considering its like a 9 hour trip.  Jay's brother is a basketball coach and we went to his games every night while we were there.  His team ended up winning the tournament.  They should be really good this year.  When we did Christmas with the Reed family Jay's dad gave the girls things that were his grandmothers.  They were really special and I was glad Ansley showed her appreciation for them.  Both the girls got a doll that had been their great grandmothers that she played with when she was a girl.  Ansley also got a cradle that was made by her great great grandfather for her great grandmother to sleep in as a baby.  In Clovis the four of us all slept in the same room which meant no one got great sleep.  It really wasn't too bad though.  It was good to spend time with Jay's family.  We hadn't been all together since Pam passed away so we enjoyed our time there.

     We came home kinda late on Friday.  I was glad we came home Friday because we had Saturday to just relax before New Years Eve, not that we did anything exciting.  Anyway, I had a good holiday season although it wasn't exactly as I expected.  I'm not really sure what I expected, but I knew it would be different, kind of a start of a new phase in life I guess.  I know that this year I am fully aware of all the blessings God has given me and I am thankful for all the ways he takes care of me.

Happy Anniversary!

He's so cute!

Today is Jay and my anniversary.  I am so thankful to have joined my life with his 8 years ago today.  This past year has been a precious one.  I think, in honor of my man, I will give everyone a picture of who my husband is to me.
Obviously Jay is my husband and father of my children, but beyond that Jay is my...
-  best friend
-  prayer partner
-  encourager
-  motivator
-  personal trainer
-  alarm clock
-  mood lightener
-  stress reducer
-  co-chef
-  and travel companion
That is a glimpse into the life I live with Jay.  I am so proud of him, the work he does, and the man he is.  I am so blessed to love a man who lives what he preaches and is such an example of walking with Christ and a loving spiritual leader for our family.

Christmas2011

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